SO! My mother was able to get an HMO for us, I have a job and am helping her pay and all that, so anyway, I went to the doc about a month ago and because I was having crazy crazy weird panic stuff, it was a mix of dissociation which was causing me to get really bad panic attacks, sort of like I wasnt connected to my body or I was seeing people through a fog as well as weird purple lights and time distortion. I would then get several weeks of extremely high energy as well as being reckless with money as well as reckless behavior, I am currently in so much debt because of this, now its too the point where I am so depressed, I have always gotten deppression and have lived with these strange up and downs all my life. It now is just getting really bad with the hallucinations and dissociative aspects. Long explanation yea...so I finally went to a pysch (not my first time, I went to other types though, people who were pretty much free) today and was actually truthful for once in my life...it was so fucking hard though. Not sure whats going to happen, I just want the weird shit to stop. I do feel a little better being able to speak the truth, but I find it really hard to speak the truth, its sort of new to me.
Ok so there, I blabbed!