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Poor and Mentally Ill

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*deep breath* [01 Sep 2009|12:36pm]

Hello, new, thought I could blab here...

SO! My mother was able to get an HMO for us, I have a job and am helping her pay and all that, so anyway, I went to the doc about a month ago and because I was having crazy crazy weird panic stuff, it was a mix of dissociation which was causing me to get really bad panic attacks, sort of like I wasnt connected to my body or I was seeing people through a fog as well as weird purple lights and time distortion. I would then get several weeks of extremely high energy as well as being reckless with money as well as reckless behavior, I am currently in so much debt because of this, now its too the point where I am so depressed, I have always gotten deppression and have lived with these strange up and downs all my life. It now is just getting really bad with the hallucinations and dissociative aspects. Long explanation yea...so I finally went to a pysch (not my first time, I went to other types though, people who were pretty much free) today and was actually truthful for once in my life...it was so fucking hard though. Not sure whats going to happen, I just want the weird shit to stop. I do feel a little better being able to speak the truth, but I find it really hard to speak the truth, its sort of new to me.

Ok so there, I blabbed!
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Free Online SUpport site [27 Aug 2009|09:36am]
Hey I have a support site, its growing at a quick pace at 144 members now and i think it will help you guys.  It is on mental health issues, has forums on depression, bipolar, suicide, personality disorders, among a lot of other things.  It even has a chat that is starting to get used.  Please check it out.  The link is http://selfhelp.yuku.com it has helped me an im a recovering cutter who suffers from depression ptsd and mpd.  stay strong and be safe.
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[16 Aug 2009|05:12am]
Hi just introducing myself here I just joined. My name's 'Renee' & I'm 20 yrs old. I don't know what's medically wrong with me, I just know that I'm depressed & anxious... Ever since I was a kid I have been anxious because my parents fought all the time. I've done everything to cope from cutting, burning, purging, drinking, smoking (recently quit this, yay) etc... Don't really talk to anyone either at work or off work. I recently switched to part-time because I can't take being around people for so much time. I have a hard time with eye contact especially; I'm very awkward @ it & since I work w/ the public directly (I'm a pharmacy clerk), it's downright confusing for the customers. It's no secret how anti-social I am, although I can turn on 'friendly' like a light, it's extremely uncomfortable for me. For every positive thought I have 10 negative ones to put it in its place. I hardly call anyone back. I don't go anywhere else except home. I can't coexist around people at a party without getting DRUNK. When I was in school I used to just sit in this one dark room every break or lunch & huddle in the corner. I'm trying to cut my bills down to be proportional to my income, you know do without, but I feel like I'll never make enough money to do anything with my life. I'm trying to seek help but it's a very long process.
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Friends? [29 Jul 2009|09:48pm]

I'm at an in between point in my disorder(s). I deleted my old account a while back, then just deleted the old posts on this account very recently. I needed change, I guess. But to the point.

I'm looking for some supportive friends to listen to and to listen. Preferably someone who has something in common with me in the areas of age, mental illness, etc. I prefer not to have people who are under age on my journal since it usually has some adult content.

So, about me: 28, queer female. Diagnoses include bipolar, borderline, anxiety disorder, OCD, and at one time included anorexia, though I'm at a healthy weight these days. Possible sex addiction. Recreational drug and alcohol user. Hopefully reformed self harmer. Currently unmedicated. I'm not terribly concerned what your outside interests are, since mine often change, but more that you understand these issues do come up in my journal and I don't use an lj cut for triggers and consequently prefer not to have easily triggered or offended people on my friend's list.

Thanks and my apologies, but I'm crossposting. Hope you only had to see this once.
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Some musiс [31 Oct 2008|02:56am]

Dear friends! Let me give you an opportunity to enjoy music in the style of Dyudrok. This is psychedelic and unusual. This is really unroof)) The autor of musiс is the autor of Manifesto "Dyudrok" - Artyom Suslov.

COH_____ (К А Ч А Й !) 

Крамола _0 _____ (К А Ч А Й !) 

ШаманЫ _____ (К А Ч А Й !) 

Терапия души_____ (К А Ч А Й ! )

ДЮДРОК _____ (К А Ч А Й ! )

ТЕМНОТА В ТЕБЯ _____ (К А Ч А Й ! )

ТЕМНОТА В ТЕБЯ 2_____ (К А Ч А Й ! )

ТЕМНОТА В ТЕБЯ 3 _____ (К А Ч А Й ! )

ЗАРЯ МАРСА _____ (К А Ч А Й ! )


Я СЛУШАЮ_____ (К А Ч А Й ! )

ЛЕТИ ЗА _____ (К А Ч А Й ! )

ЭПИЛОГ _____ (К А Ч А Й ! )___

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Manifesto "Dyudrok" [24 Oct 2008|03:11pm]

(New Experimental Art)

1. In connection with the so-called global crisis art movement "POP-REVOLUTION"
(with the partial assistance of ART-REVOLUTION) and the artist Artyom Suslov
as well as several other free artists decided to create and implement the concept of
promotion of new art "Dyudrok."

The essence of this art is to re-establish the own way of avant-garde and surrealism.
Dyudrok included any avant-garde and modern art with blurred boundaries of genres and
unlimited fantasy of the author.

At the moment, the world economic system as well as world political system infringe
on the majority of rights, freedoms, opportunities and even hopes of man.
In this regard, decreasing the creative capacity of most people because
it decreases the level and scope of vision as well as the hope of translating its
into reality. At the time of the current crisis, a simple man forgets about high ideals,
he dreams at a low level. Dyudrok must to protect people from objective reality.
We believe - the objective reality that is at this level of crisis can and should move to
second place. We have the right to push it into second place if we give to the man a
new reality, which will carry the title of "objective". what is now "objective" will take
second place, or just disappear for a man.

Accordingly, we believe that everyone, regardless of his religious beliefs, his status in
the society, and regardless of the sanctions, which in future could be taken against the
"Dyudrok" has the right to go to the new reality at any time, partially or completely .

2. In our view, any human rights organization and any commission or authority that
to deal with human rights have the obligation to protect the right of every adult
in the transition, partial or complete, in a different reality.

3. If the man who entirely gone in a different reality according with the laws of this reality
can no longer be capable - this is his personal decision as the new reality does not contradict
the existing laws and not causing harm to anyone. Neither does the campaign leading cause harm.
No one is obliged to support the individual's life in old reality when he left a letter of
advice (note) with the signatures of witnesses.

4. The departure of a reality, as well as assistance in this, not an injury to humans,
because the only thing involved in this process - the human imagination.
But imagination does not belong to the bodi, as well as the experiments of the imagination
is not harmful for the rights of mental functions.
Accordingly, there is no room for any regulations on the intentional infliction of harm or death to
humans. Also note that imagination is fully subject to his master.

5. Relatives and friends of man who passed away in a different reality have the right to challenge the
decision through the courts or through the human rights organizations and and demand to return
him to the reality in which they are located. In doing so, c. 5 is partly contrary to the core - 1 item,
and further debate on this soil can be resolved only in the mutual agreement of the parties.

6. As Dyudrok is not limited with anything and depends only on the human imagination,
it does not conflict with any law and religious customs.

7. For the same reason (not limited and opportunity
giving own properties) Dyudrok and concept its development
and its veneration is not any organization or religion
nor the political movement. Because Dyudrok do not have its own symbols and beliefs.

The author of the Manifesto is Artyom Suslov.
Art - Movement "POP-REVOLUTION"
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Working while on SSI [24 Sep 2008|02:13pm]

Greetings. For the past few years, I have been living on SSI. I would like to someday become independent of such Federal assistance and pursue a career in video games.

Would any of you happen to know if there might be a way for me to work temporary full-time jobs and still receive SSI?

In August, I accepted a full-time job as a QA tester for Disney Interactive, and I worked at it for a couple of weeks, only to get let go, and then later, I encountered problems with Social Security-- I got mail saying I earn too much to receive benefits, and I got mail telling me to pay for over-payment. I now fight to stay on SSI.

I would like to pursue the career of my dreams, but I worry about the only jobs available for me being full-time and temporary.
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[14 May 2008|10:18pm]



 I thought I would just post something to say that I have joined the community

I am 43 and artist, signal mother and LMT


 most of my post are friends only so if you come to visit and want to see my rants you will have to leave a comment on one of the open posts on my journal and I will add you 

I keep my journal to stay sane I blather and rant and to keep my precarious mental balance  that with lavender essential oil has worked almost as well as meds 

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Hope this helps [10 Apr 2008|03:52pm]

[ mood | hopeful ]

So, I'm new to these sites and I'm new to certain diagnoses. I was diagnosed with Anorexia at 12 (I'm 27), bulimia at 19 and bipolar I and Generalized Anxiety Disorder at 25. If I can keep my anxiety and mood under control, the other two fall into place. I'm on Topamax, Lamictal and Effexor XR. Lamictal was a wonder drug for me. My moods were so severe, I needed two mood stabilizers. Topamax was just making me foggy and forgetful, but helped with stabilization. The Lamictal picked me up and the pieces fell  into place. Effexor took the edge off the anxiety and here I am living life. All I know about meds: WE CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT THEM. I go downhill within a week. I'm shell of myself and seriously contemplating suicide (I'm not manic, but depressive in those states).
As far as gov't aid: Disability is a great option. I went on it once already. if you don't have insurance, go to a clinic. They have psychiatrists who can make you eligible. The government will give you the time you need and if you have been at your job for more than a year, by law, they have to as well.
If your situation is more serious, seek out charity care. Charity care will usually pick up the complete tab for someone to do at least IOP and pay for meds if they meet the financial criteria, which varies from state to state. It can last as long as 6-8 months, which will allow you to really get back on your feet. They will allow you to go to state hospitals, which usually have very competant IOP programs.
Finally, welfare is always an option. Welfare will provide you with medicaid. I stress this because MEDICINE IS A PRIORITY FOR PEOPLE WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER. They will also be very flexible with work situations if you are seeking IOP treatment. I am in NJ. If anyone has any more specific questions related to this state, please reach out. I will do my best to help you.
My Best,

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[09 Apr 2008|10:43pm]

So, a bit about me:
I'm 24. I have PTSD, EDNOS, Bipolar II, and a host of other labels various docs have tried to stick on me, but which I don't buy. I was hospitalized for the first time when I was 17, and managed to stay out of hospitals until I was about... 19 or 20. I've been in and out of hospitals, homeless shelters, and "independent living programs" since then. I had my own apartment for a while, but eventually started spending more time in the hospital than out of it and lost my job & apartment. I got on SSI about three years ago.

I have a good place to live right now. This is the first time in my life I've been able to say that honestly. It's safe and "loving".

However, I'm having a difficult time not getting rid of 99% of my stuff & running away. I've been homeless and on the edge of homelessness for the better part of seven years. Being in one place for so long is terrifying. It feels dangerous. I itch to leave, just forget about everything I own, and just take off. It's so hard to stay here, keep going to school, doing the things I know I need to do in order to have the life I want.
I've been battling this feeling for a while now, but it's just getting stronger. Maybe if I just chuck a bunch of the things I've collected, it will simmer down some.

I don't know how to be "normal", to have a bunch of objects that are mine (other than books), and to be happy and safe in one place. I need to leave, to be lighter. Being here feels dangerous, even though I know logically it isn't. The longer I stay, the more freaked out I get, and the harder it is not to self-destruct.
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[24 Aug 2007|05:46pm]

I think I have the borderline personality disorder and I don't know what to do. Can anyone help me?
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not positive what's 'wrong' with me [11 Jun 2007|02:26pm]

Hi, I'm new. 26, lesbian, living at home, and have been fighting depression in one form or another as long as I can remember but I've never gone to a professional to be diagnosed for anything. Just by my own research into things I most closely identify with borderline personality disorder.

a disorganized listing and rant off the top of my headCollapse )

So, no real point other than to kind of let loose some of what I'm feeling as a way of messy introduction.
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First post [04 Jun 2007|04:03pm]
Um. Hi.

I guess I should just dive right in explaining why I'm here.Collapse )
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your thoughts on this quote please? [21 Apr 2007|10:06am]

"A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug."
Patricia Neal
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[14 Apr 2007|08:56am]

What type of meds are you on and how do you deal with the side effects? how do your current Dr's deal with side effects or do they just switch you to another? anyone on off the wall meds that they just cant deal with or that the side effects are driving you nuts but the meds themselfs work?
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[14 Apr 2007|08:32am]

i would like to hear from all you other folks. in what ways do you feel the goverment can help in mental illness? or in what ways do you feel changes can be made in todays society to help us that are on severely low incomes and are mentally ill?
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[08 Apr 2007|04:43pm]
I'm gonna be deleting this account and would like a new maintainer for the comm. Comment if you want it.
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Psych Patients: Meet Your New Roommates [01 Mar 2007|06:07pm]

[ mood | angry ]

Gov. Eliot Spitzer and legislative leaders Thursday announced agreement on a bill that allows for convicted sex offenders to be confined after they complete their prison sentences -- a measure that could affect hundreds of inmates and cost the state more than $80 million a year to carry out, officials said.

The still-to-be-introduced legislation -- which must be approved by both houses and signed by the governor -- will create a new system by which mental-health experts would decide at the end of a sexual predator's sentence if an offender is fit to return to the community or should be held in a psychiatric center.

full article

What better place to house violent sex offender than with heavily drugged mentally ill folk who are undoubtedly aware that no pays attention anything they say. Wouldn't a better plan be to actually keep violent sex offenders in prison? They claim these sex offenders are a risk to the public, but apparently putting at risk mental patients (who've often committed no crime) is not a concern because "crazies" aren't people.

Under this new law, in New York you will be drugged and locked up with a mass of outgoing convicted sex offenders if you say the wrong thing to a therapist or psychiatrist. The safest option if you live in the State of New York: never under any circumstance say anything to a therapist or psychiatrist.
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national ID controversy -- how this affects you [28 Jan 2007|10:47pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]


This proposed "national ID" also, I believe, contains your MEDICAL HISTORY.

If you are a psurvivor and are trying to leave "the system" behind, you WILL NOT BE ABLE TO once this "national ID" is in place. Your medical history will be stored on this chip and your diagnosis (and "treatments") will follow you FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Call Congress and say NO to the "national ID".

Thank you.

x-posted to antipsychiatry
x-posted to psurvivors

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boo! [25 Jan 2007|03:59pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Hi, I'm Siggy, I'm 26 (will be 27 in 2 weeks), I live in Orange County, California, and am on Disability for bipolar disorder and PTSD. My boyfriend, who I live with (he moved me out here from Connecticut), has Asperger's and works 2 jobs, about 70 hours a week. Between our two incomes we make ends meet okay but I remember being incarcerated in a mental insitution because I had no source of income (I was denied Disability three times) and no place to go. I was diagnosed with BP at age 22 and spent the past 4 years in and out of hospitals and group homes. After coming out to California in December I totally stopped taking my psych meds because of the horrendous physical and mental side effects. My tremors have finally stopped but I am still getting the "zaps" (I was on a cocktail of 7+ meds), and I have some mildly severe cognitive blunting from the medication. For example, my thoughts are very scattered and it is difficult for me to talk and put my words together coherently.

Today I was at Planned Parenthood taking a pregnancy test. When I first went to Planned Parenthood in December for my Depo-Provera shot, I had to list the medications I just stopped because we didn't know if there would be any interactions. Today after my test I had a clinician tell me if I didn't go back on my medications they would no longer treat me at Planned Parenthood. She shoved a piece of paper with counseling numbers on it in my face and totally disregarded everything I said to her.

When I see my primary care physician for the first time I am apparently going to have to lie about having BP, because otherwise it will be her "duty" to prescribe (and monitor) meds, and possibly call in a 5150 for me daring to be off meds and not hospitalized.

I think it's illegal for them to deny me treatment for my refusal to take psychiatric medications, and I smell a lawsuit coming.

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